club spotting (for all them haters.)

I think almost ten months through the whole routine, I can actually say that I am now a club junkie. I can distinctly remember a part of my life where I actually swore I will never be one of them money-spending, never-sleeping, club-frequenting people, but here I am now - never a week without it. Fridays and Saturdays are a must, and days in between if there is an actual party. I gotta be out. I gotta get dressed, drunk, danced out to sheer exhaustion. I gotta see people, and people gotta see me.

Okay, that's a pretty obnoxious claim right there, but hey. If there's one thing I go to the clubs for, it's the social scene. And I don't mean the upper realms of showbiz strata, I mean the general public. The whole crowd. The hype. The million besos and the hypernetwork of old friends, new friends, acquaintances, and strangers. I love it. I love people. I am a people person. Shoot me.

I am relatively new to this whole spin, and I can sincerely say that I am only learning the pillars of this culture. I have been adviced, and surely to the best of intentions not to trust the people in the clubs, or to at least not be as nice as i am to everybody. You gotta choose who you're with, who you affiliate yourself to, which group you want to be in, shit like that.

The thing is, I have a poor sense of judgement towards people. My bestfriend Sasha gives me a pretty good nagging with regards to this. I have learned the consequence of combining mixed drinks and misery. In this particular scenario, you can trust nobody, so just don't even get into it. What I need to learn is the part where everybody's still sober, including you, but you still can't trust anyone.

I rarely think badly of people. It's not that I'm caught up in lala land, I was just raised to believe that you get what you give, and I sincerely think I treat people with respect and with tremendous amount of congeniality. So it's hard for me to swallow that people can be shady towards me, or that they can be talking behind my back, or lying to my face. Heck, it's even incomprihensible for me that anybody can dislike me with a valid purpose. I'm a naive little catholic schoolgirl. Fine.

Looking around the clubs, seeing your growing number of friends, and seeing the many strangers that only represent the prospect of more, paranoia should be a natural occurence. It wasn't the case for me, but lately I've been wary of it. It's such a bothersome idea that haters are all around you and you may not even know it. Really, it's not like I'm expecting to make lifetime friends of these people, nor am I expecting to find prince charmings and long-lost sisters, but the thing is, you can never really say. What if you do build lasting friendships and actually find family in the weekly drunken walks to the bar? What if somebody actually proves worthy of an actual friendship? My optimism keeps me on my toes, and well, it sounds silly but i'm sure it's an existent chance.

This whole crazy clubbing life might just be a phase. I'm actually even sure that a phase is just what it is for me. The thing is I want to make the most out of my stay here, while it hasn't worn out. While I only completely trust a handful of people in the crowded room, the thing that I learned is to just let go and give everybody a chance. Hate me, love me, I give you a good run and smile at you cause I trust myself anyway. Don't take it for being plastic, take it for being kind. I will show love till you give me a good reason to hate and eventually hit, that's what I say. Like I said, i gotta see people, and people gotta see me. Friends or strangers, fans or haters, you make my clubbing nights fun and worth coming back to every week.

Hey, I say it's a better perspective.